Adventures in the Four Elements
by iviscrit
Summary: Everyone knows Baatar and Kuvira reserved The Presidential Suite when they stayed in Republic City for the coronation. But not everyone knows about the shenanigans that went down the day they arrived! Witty repartee, snarky flirting, and shameless innuendo all feature, as well as a Beifong family cameo and everyone's favorite Fire Ferret, Bolin. Baavira. Humor/Romance. Complete.


_With a special surprise by terra-7 coming soon. Enjoy!_

* * *

"Historic, you said?" Kuvira tipped her head back, squinting in the sun as they exited the cab and stood before the Four Elements hotel.

"Kuvira, please." Baatar's hand found its usual place at the small of her back. " _Everyone_ knows it's historic. Don't act like you haven't read about it before."

Kuvira and her delegation had arrived a day before the coronation, after careful planning and several nights of heated and whispered negotiations between the two heads of state. Baatar had insisted on a couple of days devoted to frivolity, now that the majority of the nation had been stabilized. Kuvira had intended to stop in the day of the coronation, stay the night, and depart for Zaofu the next morning. "After all," she had said pointedly, her arms folded behind her head on the pillow, "the sooner we take Zaofu the sooner we can begin construction. And if we waste time in the city-"

"So we'll arrive early, and leave as soon as possible," he had wheedled. "You deserve a break. We don't even talk, anymore-"

"We're talking right now."

"Kuvira, please," Baatar had said. It was starting to become a pattern. "Please, take a break. We'll arrive one day early. If you won't do this for yourself, do it for me."

She had acquiesced with no small amount of reluctance, and now she was facing nineteen stories of pale grey marble and off-white slate. The roof was a deep forest green, the color of the Empire army uniforms, and the midday sun cast a heat haze over the tiled roofing giving it a shimmering effect. Lights were on in some of the windows, the majority shielded by thick curtains that looked suspiciously like brocade, even from the distance. The very entrance was lavish, with opulent jade inlay in the main arch, and intricate carvings in the smaller arches that framed the front side of the building. It was a charming deviation from the more traditional structures in Republic City, an imposing focal point in the view from the capital building.

Baatar offered his arm and she took it without hesitation, her smile steadily broadening as he pointed out the slight differences in the keystones, the gradient to the jade and slate that gave the impression of greater depth and size, and the modern construct of the building. "It's pretty contemporary, see how the windows jut out? Those are dormers, and the column-like features, the pilasters, enhance the edges for a better aesthetic-" He paused, seeing her mirth as they crossed through the glass doors and entered the lobby, their security detail a few feet behind. "What are you smiling about?"

"I just like to hear you talk about your niche interests," Kuvira said, squeezing his hand. "Don't sound so upset."

"Architecture is not a niche interest."

Her smile deepened, and she could feel her eyes crinkle at the corners. "If you say so."

If the building's exterior had been immaculate white with threads of grey running the length of the marble slabs, the interior was awash in color. Deep russet columns extended upward to a height of three stories, connected by pale blue drapery. They appeared to be sheer crepe over silk lining, the muted colors contrasting against the rich travertine floor with gold geometric inlay. The tiles were so closely fitted that they seemed a continuous flowing whole, a length of gleaming burnished umber that reflected the light fixtures overhead like a mirror. There was more gold tiling along the back wall of the lobby desk, and an ornate mirror was suspended under the second-floor balcony overhead. Kuvira could make out the gleam of polished rosewood and could feel the pull of the gilded metal railing, and knew the wonder was etched on her face despite her best efforts to conceal it.

"Welcome, Great Uniter," an attendant said, producing a bouquet of lilies with artful spears of gladioli as accents. "Welcome to the United Republic."

She held up a hand, her eyes narrowing. "Thank you. Xi, if you don't mind…?"

She could see her army general nod in her peripheral vision, his expression guarded as he sent a soldier to take the bouquet for her. "Is everything all right, Madame President?"

"Perfectly," Kuvira said, her voice neutral but her eyes hard. "Necessary precaution. We've had assassination attempts before when we've been welcomed into a city." She could hear the sound of her soldier systematically disassembling the bouquet, the pretty floral arrangement reduced to a haphazard bundle of blooms once he had finished and deemed it safe.

The attendant looked flustered, but bowed before leading them to the desk to negotiate the rooms.

A few choice words at the front desk proved enough to have the prince moved and the presidential suite at their disposal. Kuvira found it difficult to suppress a grin as Baatar led her to the elevator, the cadence of his voice animated as he rattled off the history of the hotel. "Councilman Sokka was responsible for part of the design," he said once they were inside the sleek interior. "You'll see some of his trademark motifs once we're in the suite, it's remarkably reminiscent of water tribe architecture-"

"So the reason we don't have prototypes out earlier is because you're reading about art history when you're supposed to be programming," she murmured, taking his arm as they were led to the private elevator that would grant them access to the suite. "No wonder we're falling behind schedule."

He grinned, but his cheeks reddened. "Uncalled for."

The doors were heavier than she'd expected; large, thick, intricately carved rosewood double-doors separated the foyer from the master suite. Once inside, she found herself looking at Baatar with a wide-eyed naivete that felt wholly foreign to her. "It's massive."

He kissed the top of her head. "It's ours."

The floor was muted olive slate, with plush green carpeting patterned with yellow and red. A large window occupied one wall, while another pair of doors sectioned off the adjoining junior suites and their own private bath. There were matching urns on either side of the door, fresh flowers artfully arranged inside them, and watercolor paintings of the city at its inception on the corresponding walls. All of the furniture was rosewood and gold, with deep burgundy upholstery, and the bed was almost comically large. Carved flowers adorned the posts, painted gold and well-polished. The coverlet was a deep green, with threads of red and gold snaking through in abstract floral patterns. The strip of sheet that poked out was a starched white, and there was an obscene number of pillows in various shapes and sizes that would have left little room to recline, had the bed not been so ostentatiously big.

Kuvira patted the mattress, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise. "Oh, it's even softer than I'd expected."

Baatar pulled her to his chest, his fingers nudging away the tension in her shoulders. "Maybe you ought to break it in."

She snorted. "It's not even afternoon. We just got here, show some restraint."

He flushed. "Why do you always assume I mean sex?"

"Was I wrong?"

Baatar pinched the bridge of his nose, an embarrassed grin at the corners of his mouth. "I'm not going to answer that. But I really did mean-" he said, voice ending in a short breath as he picked her up, "-that you should break it in." And then he tossed her onto the bed, her mouth falling open in an 'oh' of surprise as she collided with the slippery coverlet and sank into the soft bedding. "How is it?" he asked before joining her. The mattress absorbed the shock from the sudden addition, and she laughed aloud for the first time in too long.

"Better than advertised."

Baatar maneuvered them to a spot against the pillows, his fingers threading lazy patterns through her hair and slowly dismantling her bun. "See the ceiling detail?" he said, pointing. "Water Tribe fresco. The councilman allegedly never signed on to the project, but was begged to help in the creative design by the chief architect. He naturally did more than contribute to the technical side of things."

"You're not dissimilar," Kuvira observed, inching closer. "I doubt many world leaders play an active role in the construction of new buildings for a city."

"No, probably not."

They lay like that in silence for a few moments, gazing up at the painted ceiling until the images seemed to blur into abstract shapes. Kuvira blinked hard a few times, trying to bring the shifting patterns of shade play back into focus before sitting up. "We should try the gym," she said suddenly, nudging him to get his attention.

"Kuvira," he groaned, "we just got here. We checked in early so you'd have a day _off_ , not so you'd-"

"Consistency and routine are of the utmost importance," she pointed out, "even on a day off. It's a workout, Baatar. I'm not bringing out the paperwork, calm down."

"You say that _now_."

"Fine, I won't make that promise," she admitted, "but do this with me. We have the day off, like you said. It's not often that we get to spend the entire day together."

She was dimly aware of a slow, romantic ballad on the record player, and her lids felt heavy again as his fingers wandered through her hair again. "Do I have to?" His voice reverberated through his chest, and she could feel the vibrations of his speech in her cheek pressed against him.

"Commander's orders."

"Fine," he sighed. "We may as well explore."

"Before we do," Kuvira said thoughtfully, retrieving her planner from where she had left it on the desk, "go get Bolin for me. He and Varrick ought to be settled by now… I need a favor from him."

Baatar nodded. "I'll have him over right away."

"Do you know what time _they_ check in?"

"Not til the evening, I think."

She sighed, fixing her bun. "Then we have plenty of time."

o0o

They stood just outside the entrance to the gym, regarding it curiously. "Why the delay?" Kuvira said at last, turning around. "Were you planning on carrying me over the threshold?"

"In all honesty, you'd be better suited to that role," Baatar said, nudging her along with gentle hand, "but no, I was thinking."

"About?" she prodded, moving straight to the weights and arranging them on the bar.

"Our suite encompasses a good portion of this floor," he said thoughtfully, his hands loosely poised on the bar just outside of her own as she began a set. "Obviously the gym isn't adjacent to our bedroom, even though it's restricted usage, and one of our walls is a window. Bolin and Varrick are in the adjoining rooms opposite the bed…"

"Are you spotting, or constructing a mental blueprint?" she said, her eyes narrowing as she pressed through a set of reps.

"You don't need my help," he retorted, removing his hands from the bar altogether. "No, I'm thinking. There's a room adjacent to the wall behind our bed, and it's not part of our suite, it's one of the executive suites."

"And?"

"And you're not exactly quiet," he said pointedly, dipping his head down so his breath tickled her ear. "And we don't know if that room has been reserved, or by whom, because Bolin and Varrick aren't in that one-"

"I'm perfectly restrained," Kuvira said dismissively, dropping the bar and metalbending free weights into his hands, causing him to stumble back in surprise. "If anyone ought to be worried about being heard, it's you. Now, if we're not going to count repetitions, we can do something more productive, like work on my usurping speech..."

"You said no working."

She smiled, hooking her finger under his chin and pulling him close, the heat from his skin palpable through the white undershirt. "I said no _paperwork_."

Baatar sighed in defeat. "Usurping speech it is."

The private gym had been a welcome luxury, but the bathroom was even better. It was spacious, with a skylight over the whirlpool tub. "The glass _is_ frosted, isn't it?" Kuvira said skeptically. "Not… one-way?"

"Even if it weren't," Baatar said, tilting his head back to look, "I doubt there's going to be anyone on the roof."

"It's all the same," she agreed, gripping the hem of her tank top and starting to pull it over her head. "It'll be relaxing, at any rate. Maybe I ought to let you plan our foreign visits more often."

"Wait," he said, catching her arm. "Let me grab something first."

"You're not bringing work into the bath if _I_ wasn't allowed to in the gym," Kuvira said, releasing herself from his grip. "Wait, where are you going?" she demanded as he shrugged, brushing past her and heading off to a different room.

"Kitchen," he called, almost out of sight already.

"Excuse me?" she said. "What do you need to _drink_? It's a bathroom."

She found him in the pantry, his head and shoulders out of sight as he evidently was taking his time in selecting his beverage of choice. "Baatar, stop that," she said, following him. "You're not… oh."

Baatar grinned sheepishly, two glasses in one hand and a black glass bottle in the other. "What? It's… liquid imagination."

She crossed her arms. "No need for the second glass. I prefer to stay firmly grounded on the tasks at hand."

"Come on, Kuvira. You know by now that I can't plot these things out completely sober, at least not anymore," he said, his newly acquired alcohol in hand and jerking his head in the direction of the exit, leading the way back to the master bedroom. "You wanted ideation on spirit weapons. I need liquid imagination for that, I'm an engineer."

"Why?" she said, reaching for his arm. "Has it gotten that depressing? You should've said something to me-"

He looked at her, puzzled. "Why would it be depressing?"

"I thought… never mind," she said, tugging off her top once they were inside the bathroom again and the doors locked. "I still don't think it's necessary, but if that's what it takes…"

The water gushed out of the faucet filling the tub in short time, and after a moment of fiddling with the controls, the jets came alive. The water churned beneath the surface, streams of bubbles proliferating at the surface level and prompting Kuvira to smile. "Baatar… can you add this feature to my bath once we're through with the military conquest?"

He laughed at the delight in her voice as they lowered themselves into the water. "Of course. _That's_ what caught your attention? Glorified bubbles?"

"Better than you, going straight to the wet bar," she muttered, twisting her hair off her neck and securing it with her barrette.

"I'm the vice president to the most uptight leader in the modern era. Alcohol is part of the profession," he said, setting his glass down on the edge of the bath and assisting as she busied herself with the soap.

"If you're going to call me uptight, you're officially banned from spotting me on leg day."

"I didn't mean it in a 'tight-end' sort of way, those two things have zero relation-"

She had meant it in a more dismissive way, but the splash she blindly sent in his direction seemed much larger than she had intended. Kuvira heard the telltale sounds of him spluttering, of him setting his glasses down... and then she realized what was coming a moment too late. "Don't," she said in a warning tone, but to little avail as he splashed in retaliation, soaking her updo and leaving the twist of hair fully waterlogged.

"Sorry?" he said. He couldn't have been less sincere.

"It doesn't matter," she said easily, turning back to face him and drawing her knees to her chest. "Since you're using performance-enhancing substances, this _does_ mean you'll know how to modify the bathtubs back home, after we're through uniting the empire."

Baatar only smiled, setting down his drink again and reaching forward, his deft fingers finding the fastening on the barrette and slowly dismantling the twist. "Naturally," he said, coaxing the wet strands down around her face, the tension in her shoulders slipping away as her eyelids grew heavy and her smile broadened to match his.

o0o

"It's so big."

"Don't act surprised, you already knew that."

Kuvira shot him a withering look. "I was _talking_ about the bed, Baatar."

He rubbed behind his head, his abashed grin only amplified by the fluffy towel over his shoulder. "...so was I?"

She adjusted her robe, hair still damp from the whirlpool, sitting on the edge of the bed and beckoning to him. "Still interested in officially breaking it in?"

"I thought you wanted to wait until your official usurping," he said slowly, sinking down next to her. And then her mouth was on his, one hand at his cheek and the other in his hair, his hands snaking inside the robe and pulling her closer. "But I'm fine with deviating from the plan..."

"Good," she said, closing the gap again and moving towards the center of the bed, her knees sinking in the soft mattress and finally giving way. It wasn't until the robe was crumpled beneath her and the towels forgotten off to the side that they realized there was a problem. "Stop," she said suddenly, her hand across his shoulders. "I feel like I'm sinking into the mattress," she said, frowning as she propped herself up on her spare elbow.

"It has a foam insert," Baatar said flatly. "That's why it's so soft."

"It's making this distinctly uncomfortable," Kuvira said, untangling herself from him and sitting up. "I can't help but feel…"

He shrugged. "I'll endure the perils of the mattress, if you'd prefer that instead."

She smiled, despite the dryness in his tone; more than anything, she was grateful for the sensitivity to her discomfort, no matter how irrational they seemed. "You'd do that? What a sacrifice. I'm touched."

"I'm not claustrophobic," he reminded her, his voice and eyes gentle as she climbed astride. "And I'd rather you not be as well."

She kissed him slowly, trying to convey her thanks before she pulled away. "I always feel so fortunate," she said carefully, bracing her hands on the headboard as his hands tightened at her hips, "when I'm with you."

"Yes, I love you too," he said, pushing himself up to kiss her.

"I love you too," she repeated, smiling as her eyes fell shut.

o0o

Su frowned, glancing from the wall to her husband and back to the wall again. "Sweetie, can you hear something?"

Baatar Sr. frowned in response, looking up from his magazine. The twins were sprawled on the main bed, elbows braced on a tray table and hands locked together as they arm-wrestled. Opal was seated at the foot of the mattress, watching her brothers with interest. She had visited as soon as they had checked in, and now the family was effectively whole again- as whole as it had been for the past three years, at least.

"Baatar!" Su said, a bit more sharply. "Do you hear something?"

"No, dear," he said. "You might be picking up vibrations from the wall? There are aluminum studs in the drywall, you know. You're a bender, I can't feel anything from here."

"Why would the wall be vibrating?" Su said, her eyes narrowing.

A knock at the door interrupted the Beifongs, and Huan heaved himself to his feet, looking through the peephole and swinging the door open with a flourish. "Opal, you have a visitor."

"Hey guys!" Bolin said, his hands behind his back. "Um… I kinda hoped you'd be less… quiet."

"Did Kuvira send you here?" Opal demanded.

"No! Opal, no," Bolin said, dropping something onto the desk and holding up his hands. "I came to see _you_. And to say hi to everyone else. Hi, everyone…"

"Bolin, I don't want to talk to you right now," Opal said evenly. "I don't even know if I want to talk to my brother right now, so this… it's just too much. I'm sorry. Can we have some time as a family?"

"What's going on, Bolin?" Su said intently. "Is this about Kuvira? What exactly does she intend for the coronation?"

"Whoa, guys," Bolin said. "I just wanted to say hi. Nothing to do with Kuvira! Absolutely nothing. Just me, minding my business, missing my girlfriend... the usual Bolin struggles." He looked at Opal pleadingly. "Can we talk?"

"Fine." Opal jumped down from the bed, following Bolin outside and shutting the door behind them. "Why'd you really come here?"

"Look, I really did want to visit," he insisted. "I've missed you so much! But I have to be honest with you- Kuvira also wanted me to deliver a message."

"That's what you dropped on the desk?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "We're in the suite adjoining yours. So… I guess you're still mad at me."

"What did she want to say?" Opal wondered aloud. "She doesn't try to talk to us, anymore."

"She still feels really bad about everything, Opal," Bolin said. "She wanted to apologize. Please don't tell your mom who sent it, or she won't read it. Kuvira just wants to help the Earth Kingdom, and she feels bad about how the whole thing with you guys… happened," he finished lamely. "Just let her read it."

Opal sighed. "Fine. Is that it, or did you really want to see me?"

"I did!" Bolin said, and Opal suffered through the hug. Her annoyance, however, was only partially genuine.

Bolin spent the better part of an hour catching up with the twins and Su, trying to coax a conversation out of Opal as well, and coming up nearly dry each time. It was only a while after he had left that Opal picked up the letter, slipping it from its envelope and unfolding the heavy paper.

 _Dear Suyin,_

 _I've wanted to say this since our first night away. I'm sorry for what I did to hurt you-_

Opal skimmed the letter in its entirety, looking for _something_ in the careful articulation written by her brother. There was only Kuvira. Only her voice, only her handwriting, just as the empire was only hers and the banners only bore her likeness. "What did you even gain?" Opal asked aloud, though he couldn't hear her, dropping the letter back to the desk.

 _Baatar and I send our love._

 _Best wishes,_

 _Kuvira_

"What is it, Opal?" Su said, coming over and looking at the paper. The vibrations in the wall had evidently ceased, but Su took one word at the handwriting on the page before tearing it in half and stalking away. "I thought the walls around them would've been a bit more thick," she said coldy. Opal didn't know how to tell her it wasn't _they_ ; her brother hadn't bothered write, not even nominally.

"Some things are worse than betrayal, Mom."

o0o

Kuvira's eyes were unfocused, her hand at Baatar's cheek and the light from the dawn reflecting off the fractal-cut diamond mounted on the band. "What if the reason Suyin was cold to you when we ran into her before the coronation was..."

"Was?" he prompted. "Maybe she was angry about you effectively dethroning the royal idiot."

"No, that came later." It was the morning of their departure, but just as she had predicted, the plush surroundings made relaxing laughably easy. Even on the night of the coronation, they had put away the expense reports and legislation up for review and the final blueprints for the colossus long before bedtime, instead wandering up to the rooftop vantage point and spending the hours in quiet contemplation under the stars. "She was cold when we saw her yesterday, before she really had a chance to talk to you. Remember?"

"Yes," Baatar agreed, pulling her back against his chest. "But if I'm honest, I… didn't exactly bring up our engagement-"

"Prudently?" She interlaced her fingers with his at her waist. "It's all right, I included that in the letter I sent through Bolin. He said they received it… I wonder why Suyin didn't bring it up when she visited us yesterday."

He chuckled, his beard tickling her bare shoulder. "Because she too busy talking about the usurping speech to think about the letter? Kuvira, I don't know where you're going with this."

"I'm not even sure she read it," she said, sitting up and leaning against the pillows. "Hand me the robe, would you? Our breakfast ought to be here soon."

She could feel someone in the service corridor and went to answer the door, smiling at the young woman's excitement at meeting "the Great Uniter!" in person. The little portable table

was thick with stainless steel domes, and as they settled in on the couch with the food, she slid them open revealing savory crullers, rice porridge, soft-boiled eggs with soy sauce, sweet dumplings, and flaky pastry. Baatar loaded up her plate before pouring the fragrant tea, leaning against the sofa back with his arm around her shoulders. "Maybe we should come back for our honeymoon."

She snorted. "I don't think we'll be welcomed back, for our honeymoon. I _was_ thinking somewhere coastal, though. Are you going to get dressed?" she added, prodding him in the chest.

"After breakfast."

There was a knock at the door, and Kuvira frowned at the interruption. "Bolin?" she said in surprise.

"Hey, Kuvira. Can I come in, or is this a bad time?" he said nervously, following her into their room.

"You're already in, Bolin. What's the matter?"

Bolin sat in the chair opposite their couch, looking longingly at the spread of food until Kuvira gave a little nod. "Mmm," he said happily. "The pastries are great. But yeah," he continued, dabbing in vain at the crumbs, "Uh, Opal told me to tell you guys something."

"You're speaking again? That's wonderful," she said warmly. "What did she want to say to us?"

"Yeah…" Bolin said awkwardly, "it's not nice."

Baatar sighed. "I saw Opal after the coronation, Bolin. I'm sure it's nothing new-"

"Yourroomborderstheirs," he said in a rush.

Kuvira's eyes narrowed. "Excuse me?"

"Your room is right against theirs," Bolin said, his voice pained. "And they heard you twice. And Opal wanted me to tell you that you're really loud… and it was really uncomfortable for everyone involved."

Her mouth compressed into a thin line. "Baatar?"

"...yes?"

"What was it you were wondering when we were in the gym, that first day here?"

He swallowed. "What's behind the wall up against the headboard?"

Kuvira nodded, burying her face in her hands to hide the blush that she could feel blooming over her features. "I think we found out."

FIN

* * *

 **A/N: LOLOLOLOL that awkward moment when you realize the future in-laws, who already hate you, heard you going at it without pause TWICE. IMAGINE:  
**

 **Su: ...how long has it been  
Huan: idk like two hours almost  
Opal: I did not need to know so much about their sex life...  
*awkwardness as they hear some enthusiastic sounds*  
Wei and Wing: But like who even thought Junior had this kind of endurance, majorly impressed. Noice, bruh.  
Baatar Sr.: That's my boy. *approving smile***

 **I'm trash I'll leave bye**


End file.
